I felt like I was in a movie

I got this text saying I don’t want to be in a relationship with you

I was in this new city by myself

It all went so quickly

When you have this connection you’ve never had before it makes it hard to slow down

You get sideswiped by reality when that person really isn’t ready or they’re just not the one

I had been dating for a gazillion years

I had never met someone who I connected with on more than one level

There was no closure

I knew I had been happy

Surrounding yourself with people who are positive can help as well

You vibe has to change

I’ve noticed when I don’t get my way I take that to heart

I can choose not to marinate in the disappointment

I learned what a trigger is and how a trigger can spiral you into this sad vortex

It was a psychological F-bomb

I’ve learned the less I have these triggers…the more it goes away

The less I thought about it the less pain I felt

You’re dating the same guy because you’re not learning the lesson

Moving forward, take the time for yourself and realize where you played a piece

It’s hard not to condemn yourself and start beating yourself up

Most people are not taking the time to do that self-reflection

It’s embarrassing sometimes to admit you suck

Don’t wallow indefinitely

Some of your coping mechanisms may not be healthy

I had to lay off the wine and find something else

Whatever you are doing make sure it is healthy and take care of yourself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We spent ourselves into bankruptcy trying to have a kid

I’m still friends with both of my ex-wives

It’s hard to throw away someone who really truly knows you, warts and all.

I didn’t want to lose a friend.

If we had cut spending maybe I would have been home more

The shoulda coulda woulda game is not that helpful

With my second marriage, I inherited teenagers

She admitted that she had cheated on me and I was just devastated

I thought at the time there was no hope of ever turning this around

At the time I was operating on 100% emotion

There are people who have worked through this and have come out stronger on the other side of infertility

We had a really bad habit of not forgiving

Know when to argue

You both bend as much as you can and at some point, you can’t anymore.

Just because you are upset doesn’t mean you have to say that kind of stuff

I was ecstatic that she found the right guy

I saw myself getting sucked in because I just love to help people

Somebody has to want to change themselves

In the end, the only improvement is self-improvement

God has your back

If I can just hang though this horrible period something better is around the corner.

What did I do wrong?

I feel I will be a better partner in the future

1+1=3 The two of us together makes something phenomenal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Katie is the reason this single gal has a savings account!

I’d always dreamt and envisioned this big way of celebrating milestones such as a 10-year anniversary.

What is the “sure enough” way to know what my gut instinct is telling me is the truth? You go on a second honeymoon.

When I came home that’s when I started unwrapping that combined life and making my new plan for myself.

Everything I had been feeling was sadly true.

I held out hope for so long that this was fixable.

I had heard messages that we compromise, we work things out, we fight for our marriage, marriage is forever.

I compromised all of myself and I didn’t even know who I was anymore.

I vanished in that relationship.

Something woke me up after that 10-years

Why am I unhappy, why am I feeling so empty, why am I feeling so lost, why is nothing fulfilling or exciting. It was because I didn’t even know who I was.

I felt like I was turning into a crazy person.

I almost had a mental checklist of every single thing I could try before I knew there was no hope.

I felt like it [leaving] was a rebirth or an awakening.

I thought about the things I loved when I was a kid and those were the things I went back to.

If someone had asked me to talk about myself other than what I did for a living and that I was a Mom, I wouldn’t have been able to string together many sentences.

The word that always comes to mind when I think about who I am as a person is resilient.

I just kept getting back up and I won’t stay down.

I believed in love and I believed in my ability to be a whole person and I was not going to let this scar me or wound me forever.

It was just going to be something I grew and learned from.

I had a lot of support from my immediate family that was absolutely priceless.

When I found myself Suddenly Single I felt like I lost all my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gave him everything he wanted because at that point I just wanted out.

I moved in with my brother.

I joined a life group through my church.

I got to know a whole bunch of new people.

There was something inside of me that kept telling me no, it’s not quite time.

I felt like I was carrying around a lot of negativity and projecting that I was projecting on to other people.

I wrote a list of what I wanted in a potential future partner.

I don’t want to be so tied up in my relationship that I don’t have other relationships outside of that relationship.

I like to have my own identity.

You will move past it and you will be in a place where you are confident and happy and with the person you want to be with, it just takes some time to get there.

In every situation, there is always the dark time.

The universe has a way of working everything out for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mental illness and domestic violence drove her from her first two marriages.

When she finally met the right man, she tried to give him away to her girlfriend.

If you think he’s good enough for your best friend he’s good enough for you.

That feeling of knowing he will take care of me no matter what.

You have to let it go.

You have a fresh start, so use it and use it well.

Vince lost his beloved girlfriend of 3-years to suicide when her youngest son was killed in an accident and she found herself unable to cope with the grief.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vince turned to write as an outlet for his emotions like sadness and anger.

We all need an outlet.

We adapt as we move through life, you’re always adapting and changing with your environment.

6-months from now it won’t seem anywhere nearly as bad as it does right now.

It’s important to spend time focusing on yourself, learning more about yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can’t skip over the grief.

I learned to be me again.

You have to generate your own joy.

You have to be whole before you’re free to pursue that new relationship or even know if you want a new relationship or not.

We continue to evolve, but the core of who we are doesn’t really change.

I’d gotten very comfortable in my marriage that I was going to be taken care of.

I had to go around the world and try a few things out to realize I was doing exactly what I was meant to do all along.

It has always been my goal when I write something that that will help someone else feel less alone.

Feel sad but don’t stay stuck there.

Get involved in something outside of yourself.

One of the worst things you can do is isolate yourself and live in your little pity party.

Rediscover some of the things you haven’t had time for while in a relationship.

It’s a growth process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kissing my love at the stroke of midnight is my favorite moment of the year and something I sorely miss about being married. But, there are plenty of fun ways to spend New Year’s Eve when you’re flying solo. Listen to the unconventional ways other Suddenly Singles have had a blast on NYE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt like I had let my children down and my family down. I had said I would marry him and love him forever and I felt like that wasn’t fair on my kids.

As friends, we were getting along okay.

That’s the awful part. It just feels like it goes on and on and on.

Moving interstate was really big for me. It was the best thing I could have done.

Let go of that old life.

I had to think about me and my life moving forward.

I’d let myself go. I’d given myself to my husband, my clients, to my children.

I had no idea how to look after myself.

I had no idea how to acknowledge the feelings within me.

I was 40 years old and I had no idea who I was

I spent time on my own.

Don’t push your emotions away. Just allow yourself to be in it.

Sometimes we don’t want to be here but we need to be here.

Follow Sam on IG: @thesamriley

Jenny found herself Suddenly Single when she realized she’d known her husband for years, but they were living completely separate lives.

I realized I was in a relationship and I was still lonely.

I didn’t feel like I had a partner and we were living two different lives.

A much as in my head I had planned this wedding with him since we were children, because we grew up together,  it was not the fairy tale I believed it was going to be.

All of my dreams of picking out a home together and having a baby together were suddenly just squashed.

I thought not only would I be Suddenly Single, but I thought I would be ETERNALLY single.

Why not lift your head up and get up and do something that makes you feel good?

I knew that getting up and getting out of my head would be the best thing for me.

The last thing I was thinking about was meeting a new person.

There are so many elements that make you up.

I decided I was not going to feel bad for myself.

I was not looking for love when I found it.