Abby E: I was engaged to somebody who turned out to be a pathological liar

June 17, 2019

He would tell me these stories that didn’t really add up for me

He said all these things that were not verifiable

I didn’t believe him but I also didn’t want to be this awful suspicious journalist person (which is what I am) so I tried to push my suspicions aside

I got a call from NCIS

He was charming he was funny

I cared about being with somebody solid

It was kind of a shock to find out he wasn’t who he seemed to be

I think that as a journalist there’s this tension between being a person living a life and being a person writing about other people’s lives

My spidey sense never really went away

I couldn’t push it aside but I tried to

I kept thinking to myself that I had blown something big

I was really feeling like a bad person

I was looking for these tells

I was really just trying to figure out who he was and what was real and what wasn’t real

He gaslit me

I didn’t know what was real and I didn’t trust myself

She wore a wire and that’s how he got caught

I realized my instincts had been right

He went to jail

I thought nobody would be that mean to lie to somebody again and he did

I thought something was off but I just wasn’t sure

I thought he was lying to me

Trust your gut

There’s this rampant duplicity

We see what we are looking for

I’m really ambivalent about whether I want to be with anyone or not

It’s so easy to lie

I’d have to meet someone pretty spectacular and I can’t imagine where or how

I really listen to myself now

Our intuition is really pretty good at picking up things our conscious mind doesn’t

Have your own money have your own bank account be smart

I think it’s better to err on the side of caution

It’s not your fault is really the message

There are a million reason why you wouldn’t spot being manipulated or lied to or wouldn’t want to spot it

Really smart people get deceived

You have this experience and you learn from it you take the lesson from it

Once something happens you might as well make a reason out of it

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