Jessica E: I was someone who had one boyfriend after another

July 29, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was married for almost 10 years.

The last time I was single was when I was 22.

I found myself out there in this whole new crazy world of online dating

I dated a lot of really young men.

I went with the easy fun thing.

I’m almost living my life in reverse. I didn’t really have those crazy 20’s.

I dated a lot of young fun awesome guys.

A woman on a post-divorce rampage.

I was already off how I imagined my mental checklist of how my life should be I might as well enjoy my life for a bit.

I was never really ever alone.

I was someone who had one boyfriend after another.

I was constantly filling my life with men.

It’s probably a little cliche but it’s scary to get comfortable with yourself.

One of the things I never could do was be alone and feel okay about that.

It might just be me and that be okay.

It might be cliche but you’re enough.

I traveled on my own for the first time.

I loved having a little romance with myself doing the things I love.

I imagined I would meet someone else and have another child and immediately be back in a family unit situation and that didn’t happen.

Maybe I might not have another child but the one I have is pretty amazing.

The logistics side of being a single mom is a little bit challenging.

It’s hard to leave your adorable cute child to go on a date.

My life plan involved staying married to the same person forever.

It’s very odd to move back to a place when you’ve gotten divorced.

The idea of sharing him broke my heart.

I almost lived two lives for a period of time.

I didn’t want to sit with myself for too long. I remember filling space.

You can keep running and busying yourself endlessly.

It took me a string of really bad breakups to take a moment and figure out what’s going on.

It made me a better artist. I opened myself up in those ways.

I never used to write. Now I write every day. I journal.

You can really fall into living a very intentional life and not really going outside your comfort zone.

It’s scary but you also get all those wonderful experiences.

I’m happy and where I need to be.

We’re all kind of a work in progress. Sometimes you think you have it all figured out and then a day later something happens and you’re like dear God!

I thought, “I will leave my marriage and everything will be okay. This one thing is the problem and when this is different everything will be better.” I don’t think I realized that there were just a lot of my own things that I had not dealt with.

There are patterns I have in relationships and the types of men that I choose.

I have to say turning 40 is really a thing. That came out of nowhere.

Letting go of what I thought my life would look like at 40.

I’m sort of a grownup and not at the same time.

You get older but you don’t necessarily feel older.

I very much feel like a little girl if I’m going through a breakup.

The way that I’ve been living my life is probably a bit of a mix of real-life responsibilities and being a bit of a teenager because I can.

You’re always stronger than you think you are.

Sometimes you have to believe in something you can’t see.

Comments are closed.

© Copyright Om Unlimited, LLC. All Rights Reserved.