Gail: You can become your situation or you can rise above your situation

September 9, 2019

 

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my life.

I met this gentleman on a blind date. I was fairly young and we fell madly in love.

He was in the military.

We’d been married for about 25 years when he handed me divorce papers

He said, “I need to go find myself.”

I’m not even understanding what’s happening at that point.

My pastor said things like this often will trigger people to reevaluate their lives or possibly have a midlife crisis. This is a classic textbook midlife crisis.

You have to pick yourself up at that point. You have two choices, you either accept the circumstances or you accept yourself for who you are and recreate yourself.

At that point, I had spent almost 30 years taking care of someone else or having someone else’s needs in front of mine.

I decided to go ahead and do those things I hadn’t had an opportunity to do, like do a little bit of traveling go and create a new circle of friends.

Mutual friends feel like they have to take a side.

I explored interests I hadn’t been able to do. I bought a house. I wanted a project to rebuild my life. It had potential. I guess in a way, I felt I had potential too.

I took about a year to find myself and start doing things.

The dating situation had changed a lot since when I had my last first date.

I had to also divorce myself from the negativity.

If anything weird could happen it happened to me.

I was fearful.

I got into this meetup group. I was fearful for my safety. They would walk me to my car.

I had broken my leg at work.

I had a conversation with God. I said, “I would really like to fall in love one more time in this world. If it’s Your will let it happen.”

Most people are divorced with baggage…not baggage…steam lockers full of stuff.

Life is really short. In the scheme of things we are really here for a short amount of time.

Life is going to hand you things good or bad. If you can’t accept the bad ones you can’t appreciate the good ones.

You are where you are for a specific time for a specific reason.

Tenacity and resilience are two of the factors that have helped me deal with everything.

I grew up taking care of myself.

My sister died when I was 12 years old. She died and I didn’t even know she was sick.

She got this weird cancer. She had just had a child and her husband said he couldn’t deal with it. They had a 6-month old son.

I kind of feel like my mom died of a broken heart.

I was 16-years old and I left home.

My daughter got sick one night and my son took her to the hospital and dropped her off. He went home. She made it 3 miles before she fell asleep at the wheel and hit a pole Thanksgiving morning.

I got the call a parent never wants to get.

I am now raising her 7-year old.

I had only been married for a year. We had our whole life planned out.

It was supposed to happen this way. It sucks.

You cannot understand the hole that is left in your heart when your child is not with you anymore.

All grieving people and grieving families are eligible for Hospice grief counseling.

You can wonder how and why.

I had to make funeral arrangements for my daughter on my birthday.

People ask how I did it. I ask, “If I didn’t who would?”

I choose to move forward.

The best thing I can tell people is nothing lasts forever.

I have affirmation in my office that I am to focus on today and what I can control.

You have to sit there and know that today is happening for a reason.

You can become your situation or you can rise above your situation.

It’s going to get better.

I am going to rise above my reason for being sad or being depressed.

Keep on pluggin’ on. You just have to have it inside your heart and know it’s true.

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