Winter: Everything that’s bad doesn’t stay bad forever

December 2, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was married to my college sweetheart. We got married very young. The babies never stopped coming.

The divorce rate for a professional sports player is actually 90%.

After 15-years there was a lot of growing up to be had. Life takes a different turn and turns we don’t expect but it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My life has changed drastically but I just love my life.

The younger children didn’t really understand but the older children saw the good times and the bad times.

My older child said she was happy because she was tired of hearing all the arguing.

We underestimate how perceptive our kids are and how much they are impacted by the environments we set, especially if it’s not a healthy one or if it’s a toxic environment.

My ex-husband and I are amazing parents. It was a huge transition dismantling that family environment they were used to.

They are still the most important thing to both their dad and I.

We believe in therapy. We made sure we had individual therapy, couples therapy, and the kids had therapy individually. We were very proactive as we addressed their mental and emotional well-being as we moved forward into a new phase in our lives.

My kids look nothing like me but they have my personality. They have strong opinions.

One of the huge things I found about myself when we are wives when we are moms we really adjust to that identity. So much so that we fail to embrace our own individual identity.

We were people with a purpose before we ever became somebody’s mom and somebody’s wife.

I had to address that part of me I really didn’t know.

I went through a phase of really reinventing myself and really rediscovering myself.

One of the things I found was I really loved to talk.

I got sick, ended up in the hospital and started journaling online about my experience in the hospital because it was a critical moment and I almost died.

If I leave today what mark would I leave and how would people remember me? I didn’t have an answer at that time.

I call myself a country comedian.

I never meet a stranger.

I love talking about relationships and I have a lot to share.

No one ever filled me in on the joys of co-parenting. I love my kids but I also love my time away from them. Fifty percent of my time is now free. That’s time I didn’t have before.

It takes a lot of bravery to eat alone. By forcing myself to travel more I got comfortable just being by myself.

You learn that companionship is a bonus.

I became more compassionate. Nobody gets married with the idea of getting divorced. We get married and we think we’re going to be married forever. I feel like as a married woman there was this attitude of superiority. I kind of snubbed the experience of a single person and a single mom.

Going through my divorce opened up this new realm of compassion that I didn’t have before.

Sometimes life happens and it happens in a way we didn’t expect it to.

We don’t know people’s lives we don’t know their struggles. We don’t know the twists and turns that have gotten them to the position they are in.

I extend a lot more grace and a lot more compassion when I encounter people who are at odds and ends in their life.

We’re quick to discard people because their lives are not like ours.

I’ve become more calm. I’m a lot more introverted.

I enjoy silence. I enjoy peace.

I’m a lot more lighthearted. I’m not as uptight. I’m a lot more easygoing.

We went to visit an animal shelter and we came home with a whole dog. I’m not even an animal person but my heart is just so open now.

I probably had a stick up my butt when I was married.

I’m a much more joyous person. I’m definitely a much happier person. I can find a joke in anything.

I have a tremendous village. There is no way on god’s green earth that I would be able to accomplish the things I’ve accomplished without my village.

My situation was a result of infidelity. There was a lot of heartache and grief as a result.

I don’t know how I got so lucky but I did.

It’s easy to see things from a negative point of view when you’re in it.

Sometimes it is baby steps and just taking it day-by-day.

Negative minds don’t produce positive lives. I consider myself a positivity pimp.

Everything that’s bad doesn’t stay bad forever.

You have to get support. There is not enough faking you can to do hide a heart that is broken.

We make it very difficult for people who have a high profile status to just be human. Give yourself permission to be human. You don’t have to pretend to be perfect.

Get the support you need. Take the time to heal.

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