CaryLee: I needed to show my children who their mother is

August 10, 2020

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was some time coming and I had to make the choice of my well-being, my mental stability, and being really able to stand up for myself.

I was definitely someone that was outgoing. I would say I was a social butterfly but I was outgoing and when I moved and got married I think I lost a bit of myself. Some of my friends did say they noticed the change. They didn’t really see the vibrance in me anymore.

I had to take stock of the person I was being in front of my boys. Looking back, I wanted to be the dutiful wife, I wanted to be the supportive wife. If that isn’t reciprocated it’s a really hard position to be in.

I had been involved in a lot of things before. I was a playwright when I was in New York. I had always wanted to make my mark on the world. I had ambitions for myself.

I was the person who would not let anything bog me down. It got to the point where I could see I was really losing myself. I had issues with anxiety. I was losing my strength.

My tenacity has come back. My go-getter attitude has come back. I’d say I’m the risk-taker of my family.

I had to walk in my truth and me being able to walk in my truth gave me this new perspective of life. I needed to show my children who their mother is. I needed to wake up that person who had been lying dormant for years.

I would say I found my purpose. My purpose was no longer trying to build someone else up, I had to build me up.

Once you find your purpose you regain the respect for yourself you see that you can actually go ahead and do the things you didn’t think you could. You can hold your head higher.

There is resilience when you don’t give up on yourself.

My mom passed a week ago and she was my biggest cheerleader. She fought her way all the way to the end. My mom was always a go-getter. She never stopped learning. She never stopped giving.

I need to have someone that is strong in themselves and is able to be my rock. At the end of the day, I want to be able to come home and not just be a wife but be a girlfriend.

Sometimes you need to take the title out of it and just treat the person you are with well. At the end of the day, the family unit is really about support.

Sometimes you have to step out of being a mom, of being a wife and remember that you’re still you. Being a mom and a wife doesn’t define you. What would people say about me when I pass? That’s something I really looked up to my mother for.

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