It kind of played out like a bad Lifetime movie. It was one of those things where you’re like, “this can’t be real. This can’t actually be happening.”

I had been dating someone for about 3 and a half years and we were engaged to be married.

I found out my would be finance had lied about everything he told us. He stole a ton of money from my parents and I…a ton of goods like collectibles and sold them he did that from friends too. He had done a number on my mental health and on the mental health of a lot of friends.

The private investigator said in this situation, a lot of people won’t leave the person doing this to them. My dad and I threw him out of my house and I obviously dumped him. It was insane. Absolutely insane.

I was having night terrors. My anxiety had gotten so bad I was getting no sleep. I would ake up screaming and yelling. I had no idea why. I had started to feel very dumb and forgetful. He had managed to corral me away from all of my friends and support so it was just him.

It was easier at the end of the day to go, “I must be wrong” than to look all of this in the eye and try and figure it out.

When your gut says, “I don’t think so” you go I don’t think so.

It’s amazing what our bodies know and try to tell us even if we don’t want to listen.

I made the decision I would have to be as compassionate as possible with the whole situation or I was going to destroy myself in the process. I had changed so much as a person. I had become really small. I had boxed up all the things I was passionate about if it didn’t suit my ex. I had this incredible anger.

I didn’t trust myself enough. I didn’t know my own voice.

I tried to be calm and methodical about it. I started doing meditation which helped a lot. I, of course, went into therapy which helped. I did start dating and things like that again just to try and find my footing.

It was like being the walking wounded. The entire time it was like trying not to bleed all over this person I just met and not being able to.

You need to figure out a way to heal yourself from this before you go back out into the dating world because you’re just looking for healing, you’re not actually going out there to be partnered with somebody.

I was still trying to live up to expectations that I don’t know who set for me but it wasn’t me.

It set me on this path of figuring out what I want for myself and for myself and what I want to give other people.

I was still buying into the fact that I shouldn’t take up space and that I was not worthy of being the person I was.

In order to trust myself, I started to spend time with myself. I looked at the things I actually enjoyed. I started saying no to things.

I was saying no to things that I had been saying yes to out of habit instead of saying yes to because they were fulfilling or life-affirming or they were things I really wanted to do.

I discovered I really did like horror movies. All of a sudden I was watching then 24/7. It’s a controlled scare so it’s very comforting. I got back to writing, I started learning a foreign language, I started learning to play guitar.

I started to redefine myself by the things that made sense to me and by the things that made me happy to be alone with myself.

It was a very scary process because I felt I had changed so much.

By embracing that geeky weird horror person I was, all these people were like “yeah!”. The thing I feared most was losing my community entirely and they really stepped up for me because I started being really honest.

It’s still a work in progress but I feel very comfortable with myself in general. There’s a stillness that comes out of the center of me now.

It’s about listening to your instincts. It’s about being willing to recognize red flags and being willing to put aside your expectations enough to kind of recognize what’s right under your nose.

One of my favorite sayings is, “when you’re going through Hell keep going.” It’s about not building a home in your pain but using it to transform and to heal yourself and heal the people around you.

It’s about being okay to be wrong. I was dreadfully wrong and I had placed my trust in the wrong people and that was okay. It’s something that you can come back from and you can learn to forgive yourself for doing.

We were together for about 4-years and were two weeks out of buying a condo together…we had been living together for 2-years talking marriage.

I got a text saying, “We’re over. Please be out by Sunday.” It was a little sudden and out of nowhere.

The first day I didn’t know what to think so I grabbed a bottle and sat on the bathroom floor and cried. I did that for about a day and a half.

No answer is an answer and you have let go at that point.

I had a fabulous tribe that showed up.

I had $10.00 in my bank account…we had just purchased a business 10-months earlier. We had agreed he would pay all of our personal bills for 2-years and I would put all of my money back into the business.

At 34-years old I got to move back into my parent’s basement. Every grown woman’s dream. It worked out. I’m grateful I had that opportunity but it wasn’t my dream.

I look back and I can see why I was so unhappy for 4-years and hadn’t really realized it. I still kinda feel like maybe I should have broken up with me. This went the wrong way. I should have been the one walking out.

I had changed so much over that time we were together. He had started to wear on me.

I was always walking on eggshells or trying to see the positive but seeing the negative that was all that was pointed out to me. I’d gotten to the point where I had tremors and cluster headaches.

Everything about me had changed and my body was clearly revolting and saying this isn’t the way you want to live.

I still had to keep my business going. I couldn’t just shut everything down because this was now my sole source of income. It was my only way to live. It kind of inspired me to work harder.

I got over this relationship a lot quicker than anyone thought I was going to do.

I started leaning into my community. I started leaning into getting reiki services and getting massages.

I was trying to just deal with it. We all just want to suck it up, put our big girl pants, and go throughout our day…but sometimes you have to lean on other people.

I don’t think it was ever about me. I don’t think him leaving was about me. I don’t think him being in the relationship was about me. Having that clarity of mind but it really helped me process and then realize who I was and who I didn’t want to be any more from there.

Hearing other people’s stories and talking to other people and being open just helps you to heal so much.

We are all trying to be too tough. Honestly, the biggest thing I learned was coming out of that particular relationship was to start talking about it…to start talking about how I was human and how things hurt and it wasn’t fun and how occasionally I missed my life.

I missed going home to somebody, even if I wasn’t happy with that somebody.

I realized I am a lot stronger than I thought I was.

I really started leaning into being a lot more feminine. I grew up a jock. I’d always thought left-brained.

As I was coming into my new self, I started leaning into being more of the nurturer, being more empathetic looking more into beauty and art and dressing girlier and wearing jewelry and I just feel so alive and so me in a way that I never had before that and I don’t know that I would have ever changed it and I stayed with him.

I want to be the calm in the storm. I want to be the thing that brings beauty and positivity and happiness to anybody I’m around.

Your aura is your best advertisement.

I think a lot of us need a lot more empathy and compassion and those things that women are known for.

Now I do mediations all the time on my divine feminine.

I feel so much more connected to everything and everyone around me.

Whatever breaking point you think you’re at, you can bounce back.

I’m doing better than ever. I have become so much more aware of my life and what I want and I don’t want to settle for anything that makes me feel less than fantastic.

I’ve become so comfortable with myself that I can sit at home alone and be perfectly comfortable too.

You look back and see all the things you thought would break you and we’re all still kicking. It’s pretty amazing.

Do what you need to do. Feel what you need to feel in that moment.

I was young and dumb and got married when I was 20 and he was 19. Too young basically.

As I was getting a divorce I kind of knew he was cheating but I couldn’t prove it. Six months after our divorce was finalized I found out I had cervical cancer from HPV. That is how I found out he was cheating. The worst part was my father was terminally ill with colon cancer at the time.

To go through those three things: a divorce, your own illness, and the eventual loss of a parent and so young, I wasn’t even 25 before my Dad died. So for me, there weren’t a lot of people who understood what I went through.

I couldn’t relate to a lot of people my age, even in my early 30’s I really couldn’t. My friends tried, God bless them, and I’ve had a lot of supportive friends over the years but it was hard to connect.

There are not a lot of people who get the joy of going through three life-changing events — and we’re talking negative life-changing events in the pan of 18-months.

I wasn’t really processing it well and 3 months after my dad passed away I ended up meeting this guy and we ended up being together for two years. It should never have happened but we lived together.

That was 2000 and I literally have not been in a long-term relationship since then and it’s 2019. I had a couple of bad guys after that.

To the women, when you’re gut is telling you something is wrong, something is wrong.

I became friends with a bunch of guys and we were really just friends.

They gave me the ability to do all the things we wanted to do but I felt protected– like I was in a bubble. I really didn’t want to be bothered by guys because I was kind of shell shocked.

Take the time you need and if you need multiple years it’s okay to take that time.

I had yet to process everything I had been through in the late 90’s just pushing through and finishing college. To anybody out there, take the time you need and when you do have really good friends who are people you can rely on that’s a great time to go out and just live and have that comfort level.

I moved on in my life and I moved on in my career.

When you are ready to date you can not have male friends. When people see you out and every time you’re with guys no one is ever going to come up to you.

There were so many times I wish I got ghosted when I was younger. Isn’t that awful?

I pretty much had it lined up so that I was never single. I never dated multiple guys but I was never single for more than 4-weeks…6-weeks. I was a bad girl.

I realized a couple of years ago I could not guarantee that I wouldn’t break down on Thanksgiving day. It took almost two decades for that to happen. There was a lot of guilt. I survived and he didn’t. I was ashamed. The whole family needed him and it was really, really hard.

Sometimes you go through things when you are younger to prepare you for the bigger things that are coming at you when you’re older. I realized I went through the entire Thanksgiving weekend without crying. Maybe it was just time.

For me, it was that time alone and processing.

It was always one bad thing after another and another. Because to took me so long to step back I think I needed that amount of time to process.

If you don’t take the time to sit down and process and center yourself you’re just going to make things ten times worse if you keep going out and adding on to it and adding on to it.

You need to get to a point where you actually want to go out and get to know somebody. There were so many years I didn’t want to get to know anybody. I know my friends. That’s enough.

There are days you have to force yourself. You have to put on that smile and go out.

They say fake it ‘till you make it. Sometimes you have to fake it. It depends on the day.

The feeling of failure when you go through a divorce…I was embarrassed. It was the majority of my friends and family that attended the wedding and we got divorced so quickly after. I was just embarrassed.

You’ve got the embarrassment, you’ve got the failure…not to mention all the lovely wonderful supporting things he said to me. That stays with you for a while.

When you have the bad days it’s okay to stay in. Sometimes I think I was out too much.

I realize things were getting better when those bad days start to shrink.

I do want to get married again and it took a while.

I’m all for the separate bedroom thing or even a separate household.

We were not meant to be alone. It is fine to go get that time…take the time to heal from whatever it is you’re healing from. Take that time to heal and be alone. But at the end of the day, there is a reason prisons use solitary confinement because it is torture and it’s not healthy to be alone for a long long time.

I’m already halfway through my lifespan and what am I doing with it?

They have said for long, it’s okay to be single forever and that’s great and we’ve become super independent.

You have to find ways to take care of yourself emotionally and physically.

You’ve got to find what will ground you and give you some peace because the world’s not going to give it to you. Your friends your family…no one can give it to you. They’re going to have all these expectations that you can just shake it off.

Be patient with yourself but also silently push yourself to take a little step every day. Trust me, some days you don’t even want to get out of bed and I’ve been there.

If you’re not healthy spiritually, emotionally, mentally you’re no good to somebody else. You’ve got to heal. Because what you’ll find on the dating scene is a lot of unhealthy people who haven’t dealt with their stuff so take care of yourself…do whatever you need to do to get yourself back to a balance.

We were married for 8 years and together for about 14 years. We met in college.

Through unfortunate circumstances around fidelity and lying and cheating, I end our marriage and file for divorce.

I got to that point where enough was enough. I decided to remove myself and my kids.

It takes work. I try to always look at the glass half full and the upside and the positive side of things.

My ex-husband had to be removed from the house.

My support network was great.

We went through some really tough custody battles. We are not co-parenting but parallel parenting with very limited contact.

It took some time. I did a lot of venting and being upset about the way things were working out and the reaction I was getting from the other side.

I’m still in that mode where I’m constantly going and doing. The last 3-years had been interesting.

I walked into my marriage with all of these ideas and how I wanted things to go and it was supposed to be a we, us, they together forever.

Once I had my daughter that was my big ah-ha that I had to set an example for her. When I had my son that just grew even more.

This responsibility to be a better stronger example, a healthier example for my children became really prominent.

My kids are at the heart and the root of everything that helps me to grow and to push me.

Aren’t I supposed to give and aren’t’ I supposed to work through things? I looked back and I did do that. I got to a point where I had done everything I could possibly do.

We’d done the counseling, we’d done the conferences, we’d done the bible studies together, we’d done the readings together.

Through all of the drama, I didn’t realize what was happening internally. This year I took up kickboxing which is a great stress reliever.

I have a great network of friends.

I amazed myself that even in the midst of all that was going on and all that was happening at home and in my personal life I continued to excel professionally. Going through the divorce process I was laid off because my job moved to a whole different state.

I amaze myself that in the midst of all of this God keeps blessing me and keeps pushing me forward to not let the bad and the negative things stop me from growing and being where I’m supposed to be.

I had moments where I was I supposed to lead people knowing I had such drama going on in my life. My personal life is crazy. People are going to look to me to be an example and how can I possibly lead them?

You do have to get rooted in whatever faith you have. Don’t become a hermit. You do have to open yourself up to people.

Hindsight is 20/20. Nobody knew what was happening to me not one knew what was happening at home for years. No one knew what I was dealigning with at home because I didn’t talk about it and I didn’t think I was supposed to talk about it.

Find that friend or that small network you can talk to and share your experiences with it. Don’t hold or bottle it in and think this is the way it’s supposed to go.

You have to keep talking about what is happening to you or nobody will know and nobody can give you the steps to get out or give you some encouragement or the tools and the skill sets to deal with whatever you are dealing with. You have to be able to reach out and talk to people. You have to talk to the right people.

Start talking. Everybody has a story.

I had the big suburban house and the family and all the things you dream of as a little girl.

We really had grown apart. I was willing at one point to be unhappy just to keep the dream alive. There comes a point when you realize I don’t want to do this anymore.

I started to reclaim my life for me. Not for my kids not or my husband and I began learning what self-love and self-care really looks like on a whole new level.

I feel like my grieving process was really long. There are still some moments of grieving.

One of the things I decided to embrace was just new things. Just really embracing life.

I’m not going to let anything or anyone get in my way. I really do have hopes and dreams and they are important to me. I’m not willing to compromise anymore. A lot of my life I compromised and put other people’s needs and other people’s desires before my own.

This whole thing was a complete shock. None of us understood what was happening or why it was happening. It was a huge transition. It was like we were all growing up and becoming adults at the same time.

As a mom, the thing that has been the most important is to give them space. To let them feel what they’re feeling. To be angry to be mad at me. I know I have definitely made mistakes. There are things I wish I had done differently or better.

I remind my kids I am a safe place for them. No matter what they do I love them. I am here for them.

This whole thing sucks and this is not what we thought this stage of their life was going to be, but to give them space and honor their journey even if I don’t like all the choices they make.

We had space to cry together and be scared together. As a mom, the thing for me was to not become co-dependent on my kids and not let them become co-dependent on me.

It feels like there is this fear that they will be left behind. There is always going to be space for my kids for sure.

I’ve had to make some really hard decisions. I’ve had to demonstrate tough love with my kids at times which has been really hard for me. One of the things this has really taught me is the value of boundaries because I had so few boundaries in my previous life. Boundaries are a good thing.

By saying no this is not okay you are creating an opportunity for growth. It was hard for me to say no because I love people and I’m very accommodating.

I am no longer bringing along dead weight with me.

I’ve really learned how to connect and get into my body and really listen to my body in all the spirituality. I think before spirituality before for me was a certain set of standards.

My journey probably could have been shorter. My journey has been a very long journey. Part of my journey has been about wrapping up loose ends. My journey hasn’t been just about me. It has been about giving people in my circle more time.

I was in a relationship for 26 years. I’ve been grateful for this journey. Let your journey be your journey. Grieving happens differently. It’s important to honor all of it.

I’m grateful for where I am and I’m excited for where I’m going.

My therapist has been amazing! I’m so glad I did that. I gave myself that gift. She has been that constant touchpoint that I really really needed.

I just wanted to be known so I created community. I didn’t have support so I created it through myself. Through my therapist and through my neighbors.

After 26 years there was absolutely a part of me that felt like a complete and utter failure.

Have people that will make you laugh and who give you hugs and just want to be there for you because of you. Not because of a job or anything else.

In the quiet moments of my loneliness, there were lots of tears which needed to happen but laughter is equally important.

I was married 2-kids, pre-school and 2nd grade. I had a midlife crisis. I had two affairs back to back. I destroyed my life, my marriage, my family and literally, obliterated everything around me.

I left my husband for the second guy who was a sociopath. I sometimes can’t believe I did that.

My actions were the opposite of intentional back then. I had no idea what I was doing.

I had to do a ton of work to rebuild myself. A lot of self-discovery a lot of self-awareness work.

Your marriage can become transactional. My husband and I ended up losing that connection to each other. It happens. If you don’t pay attention to it, it’s easy to let things get in the way of those relationships.

I was busy growing my company. I was getting so much attention from the men I was meeting. I was going, “gee why am I not feeling this appreciated at home? Why am I not hearing all these great things about how smart I am and successful I am and funny and all these wonderful compliments from my husband?”

We had lost sight of each other so it was easy to fall into an affair. All of a sudden this person was giving me this attention that I so desperately needed and for whatever reason I was unable to ask my husband or tell him what I needed. Of course, hindsight is 20/20.

The first affair was your run of the mill affair. I was getting what I needed he was getting what he needed.

The second guy convinced me to leave my husband for him and completely upend my life because our life together was going to be so much better. He was married as well with kids.

When you’re in it you can’t see what’s happening. I was already so confused it was easy to just take my hand and lead me in whichever direction he wanted to go in. On the day after Christmas, he dumped me.

I knew life was going to go on, I just didn’t know in what direction. I didn’t know what was next.

It was one foot in front of the other. Just to get through the day.

What happens when you’re going through something like this your friends don’t know what to do with you. They’re as confused and upset as you are so a lot of friends just step to the side, which is fine and understandable.

I spent a lot of time thinking what did I do and what’s next? I had an epiphany sitting on the beach. I messed up. I’m going to fix things. The difficulty of the road ahead was very apparent to me.

I had been doing a lot of work to fix some fundamental flaws in my character.

I was able to admit my faults. It’s in our DNA not to show weakness.

Holding up that mirror to your faults and shining on a light on those nooks and crannies is not easy. It can be devastating but it is so important. I had nothing to lose. I had been gutted. I had to rebuild from scratch emotionally. Look at what’s holding you back because it’s probably inside of you.

Talk to someone who can be extremely objective. They’ll push you to dig…sometimes dig really deep and that’s a worthwhile exercise.

I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s. For many women, they went from their parent’s house to a marriage. I found myself at 20 not knowing what I was going to do with my life and so I got married.

It was clear we were on a very different path. I felt a lot of resistance to any growth for me. I just decided I couldn’t live like this anymore.

The relationships ended and I was petrified. I’d never lived on my own before. It was a very scary time.

On the day that I got married my mother said, “you can always come back home.”

I had people judging. I knew in my heart it was the right thing form me.

I kind of launched into another 7 years of being single. Really learning how to live by myself, I dated lot of people. I was a little phobic. After about the 3rd date I would start thinking it’s going too fast I can’t do this.

I didn’t want to fall in love again and have my heartbroken. I just kept exploring. I traveled a lot o got all my education done. I had really great girlfriends who were also single and that was a lot of fun. I really made friends with some guys and learning they are just as vulnerable as we are and they are trying the best they can. It helped me to grow my heart form the opposite sex.

It’s easy to not take responsibility when you’re younger and say, “it’s all your fault.”

Having men as friends was a great learning opportunity.

I really like living with a partner. It’s a safe place to go home and connect.

I was learning how dependent I really was on other people for me to feel full. That I really needed the connection. It was really hard for me to grapple with the aloneness. I made a decision that I would rather be single than be in a relationship where I was unhappy.

I really wanted to have children. I wanted to have a family. It was hard to not get disappointed and feel the aloneness.

I decided to go to some Alanon meetings and go to some spiritual groups and that made all the difference in the world. The growth was exponential. The hardness transformed itself.

I used to say to my mom, “I have to know that when you’re not here I can do this on my own.”

I could have taken a lot of paths but I really wanted to take an authentic path.

I knew what I was looking for. I was looking for someone who was gentle and who was smart and who could listen to me and somebody who didn’t feel threatened by my energy. I needed someone who wasn’t pushy. I needed to be able to go at my own pace.

Because I had done a lot of work on myself and then I found a relationship where I felt safe and loved my journey intentionally is to keep my heart open. I’ve used that whenever I feel stuck or whenever I’m mad. I think this made me a really good person.

I’m really proud of the life I’ve led and who I’ve become. The marriage was a child’s decision to do something. It has been an awesome journey.

Be patient wit yourself. Get some help. See a therapist. Get some support from your friends.

You have to look inside yourself.

I believe divorce never happens for one reason or one thing. It was a series of things. We tried many things. Even with trying a lot of things the relationships did end.

If there was one thing that sticks out for us it was not taking good care of the relationship. Not checking in to make sure we were both doing what the other person needed to have done. Then there is the self-care aspect, jut making sure you are checking in with yourself.

The ending wasn’t horrible though. I’m still proud I married and divorced somebody who is compatible and like-minded.

Our divorce has been kinda vanilla. There was no drama. It ended. We fell out of love with each other and we wanted to just walk away.

We ran out of steam. The relationship ran out of steam. I’m happy my story is so different than a lot of other divorce stories out there.

The fact that we have a child and we both want to actively parent her that means the stakes are high for exiting the relationship and I think that weighed in on our approach to ending the relationship gracefully. Whether we’re married or not we still have a child to raise.

There’s no need to make our adult problems her problems. She needs two highly functioning parents.

We’re both very mindful of our actions…the things we do and say the things we don’t do and say around her.

We went to a mediator and the mediator made a lot of useful suggestions around our divorce and custody arrangments.

It has taken all of those 10-years to finally arrive at the most valuable learning.

I can’t control what he did. I have to start asking myself, “what did I do?” What did I learn from that? What am I going to do in future relationships? It took me a while to figure out what I needed to do differently and what I need from a relationship.

It took years and years and years to arrive at this one simple statement: I must feel special. There were 101 ways I was expressing that but it took years and years to refine every other way I was saying that. I did not feel special. I didn’t recognize it and I didn’t call it out.

We didn’t make time for each other. Going out on dates and doing things just as a couple. We outgrew each other which is natural.

I feel like every decade you are a new person. It’s okay to change and be different.

I don’t bring new dates around my child. You don’t know if that relationship is going to last.  I know how things can change and end so quickly.

Starting a business being self-employed consumes a lot of space in your life. I think that is the thing that takes up so much space that that’s my excuse for not dating anymore. I’m also just afraid to just be out there again like that.

I’m open to marriage again which means I have to be open to dating. When she’s gone I can see myself taking more time to take that seriously and date again.

Now that she’s a teenager I have to be even more available to her. The teen years are a lot like the toddler years. You don’t want to be that hover parent but you can’t really let go either.

I definitely recommend mediation before lawyers. That worked out for us. I found it to be more economical and more peaceful.

I highly recommend people get premarital counseling.

I hope other people realize every divorce does not have to end in an ugly contentious way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was married to my college sweetheart. We got married very young. The babies never stopped coming.

The divorce rate for a professional sports player is actually 90%.

After 15-years there was a lot of growing up to be had. Life takes a different turn and turns we don’t expect but it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My life has changed drastically but I just love my life.

The younger children didn’t really understand but the older children saw the good times and the bad times.

My older child said she was happy because she was tired of hearing all the arguing.

We underestimate how perceptive our kids are and how much they are impacted by the environments we set, especially if it’s not a healthy one or if it’s a toxic environment.

My ex-husband and I are amazing parents. It was a huge transition dismantling that family environment they were used to.

They are still the most important thing to both their dad and I.

We believe in therapy. We made sure we had individual therapy, couples therapy, and the kids had therapy individually. We were very proactive as we addressed their mental and emotional well-being as we moved forward into a new phase in our lives.

My kids look nothing like me but they have my personality. They have strong opinions.

One of the huge things I found about myself when we are wives when we are moms we really adjust to that identity. So much so that we fail to embrace our own individual identity.

We were people with a purpose before we ever became somebody’s mom and somebody’s wife.

I had to address that part of me I really didn’t know.

I went through a phase of really reinventing myself and really rediscovering myself.

One of the things I found was I really loved to talk.

I got sick, ended up in the hospital and started journaling online about my experience in the hospital because it was a critical moment and I almost died.

If I leave today what mark would I leave and how would people remember me? I didn’t have an answer at that time.

I call myself a country comedian.

I never meet a stranger.

I love talking about relationships and I have a lot to share.

No one ever filled me in on the joys of co-parenting. I love my kids but I also love my time away from them. Fifty percent of my time is now free. That’s time I didn’t have before.

It takes a lot of bravery to eat alone. By forcing myself to travel more I got comfortable just being by myself.

You learn that companionship is a bonus.

I became more compassionate. Nobody gets married with the idea of getting divorced. We get married and we think we’re going to be married forever. I feel like as a married woman there was this attitude of superiority. I kind of snubbed the experience of a single person and a single mom.

Going through my divorce opened up this new realm of compassion that I didn’t have before.

Sometimes life happens and it happens in a way we didn’t expect it to.

We don’t know people’s lives we don’t know their struggles. We don’t know the twists and turns that have gotten them to the position they are in.

I extend a lot more grace and a lot more compassion when I encounter people who are at odds and ends in their life.

We’re quick to discard people because their lives are not like ours.

I’ve become more calm. I’m a lot more introverted.

I enjoy silence. I enjoy peace.

I’m a lot more lighthearted. I’m not as uptight. I’m a lot more easygoing.

We went to visit an animal shelter and we came home with a whole dog. I’m not even an animal person but my heart is just so open now.

I probably had a stick up my butt when I was married.

I’m a much more joyous person. I’m definitely a much happier person. I can find a joke in anything.

I have a tremendous village. There is no way on god’s green earth that I would be able to accomplish the things I’ve accomplished without my village.

My situation was a result of infidelity. There was a lot of heartache and grief as a result.

I don’t know how I got so lucky but I did.

It’s easy to see things from a negative point of view when you’re in it.

Sometimes it is baby steps and just taking it day-by-day.

Negative minds don’t produce positive lives. I consider myself a positivity pimp.

Everything that’s bad doesn’t stay bad forever.

You have to get support. There is not enough faking you can to do hide a heart that is broken.

We make it very difficult for people who have a high profile status to just be human. Give yourself permission to be human. You don’t have to pretend to be perfect.

Get the support you need. Take the time to heal.

I was 30-years old and two children and my husband got sick.

My daughter was a newborn of 3-months and my son was 3-years.

I was working full-time because I had to pay my bills. We found out he was ill when he applied for life insurance so we had no life insurance.

During that time my mom was killed by a drunk driver so I only had my dad but we lived in different places so I pretty much had to do this alone.

I couldn’t tell his family. He didn’t want them to know he was ill.

You do what you’ve got to do for those two little kids and you’ve got to get up in the morning and do it for them.

I think work helped me every day. I think we get strength from going to work every day. It makes us feel better about ourselves.

I had to go on. It wasn’t a choice. You throw your head under the pillow and never get out of bed or you just pick yourself up and go on.

I had to go make money for my family. My friends were phenomenal. It was hard financially but you do what you gotta do.

My friends wanted me to meet somebody but I wasn’t ready right away. A couple of years down the road I realized I’ve got to meet somebody for these children. I don’t think it was for me. I think it was to bring up my kids.

I’m remarried now for 23 years.

Friends of mine put an ad out. I didn’t know.  I met a lot of older guys I wasn’t interested in.

It’s difficult when you have two children. I joined a tennis league. It was getting out.

The best thing that happened to me was meeting someone and we were able to get out and do things together.

People were scared of me at that time…that I would take their husbands away. I didn’t want their dirty laundry!

I’m going to meet somebody really good and somebody who cares about my kids and about me. I wasn’t going to just meet anybody.

I do believe sometimes when you get married so young you’re not with the right person. I believe it was really good for me because I started all over again. Luckily I met the right one. It was really hard in the beginning.

I’m very independent. Be independent. Do it on your own.

It’s really important to figure out who you want. You don’t just jump into a relationship. I think being so young I was very particular who I met and I was very lucky I met the right one.

I don’t believe everyone should get married again.

You may not want to share your finances right away until you really get to know them.

I needed a new life. We got transferred to Singapore. It was the best thing for all of us because we had each other and that’s it.

It’s been a journey in my life. I don’t know that I would have had that life with my first husband. It’s been a great adventure. I made it the best I know how.

I put my own business together because I want women to know they are strong.

I think men have a harder time than women. It’s harder for them taking care of daughters. They need their mother.

You just got to go on. You only have one life to lead. I wasn’t going to give up. It was really difficult. I’m not going to say it was easy. My friends, that’s who really put me through it. Not my family, my friends.

You can be strong and you can learn to deal with other people. I taught them you’ve got to go on. You’ve got to be individuals and go on.

I did sometimes feel guilty. I couldn’t be there for my kids all the time. I was not home with my kids. I had to work. It is important for kids to see their mother and father have a purpose.

You just do the best you can. To stay alone…not the answer.

Be strong and be powerful in yourself. You’ve got to be strong. I’m very strong.

No matter what you’re going to make it. You have no choice. Get out of bed every morning.