Bob: Deployment Ended in Divorce

February 25, 2019









I got a phone call from my then wife that she didn’t want to be married anymore

When she wanted to fight I would shut down and be silent

Now I realize my going silent or walking away was just as bad as if I had hit

The next year I was pretty much an alcoholic

I was trying to hold it together for the sake of the kids

I had to come home because I was about to become a liability

I had a series of videos I made for my children

It’s a running joke…you deploy you get divorced

We’re never prepared to return to our families

On Christmas morning I handed my kids off to my ex-wife and sat at home alone

I will never forget that hug

I realized very quickly although I thought I was a feminist I was a recovering misogynist

What are you going to do when the newness wears off?

If you swallow your pride and learn the accent the other person is speaking with you’ll reach them much better

If there are kids involved put the napalm away

I tried for 2 years to make the marriage work because one day my kids were going to ask me why

I tried as hard as I possibly could to make it work

I was on the phone with her mother trying to find out why

I didn’t value me because I was rejected by someone else

I had a nice life and I think that’s the thing we lose sight of

How can I sacrifice all of my soul to make you happy?

I know I can’t fix it.

Do you want me to listen? Do you want me to leave? Do you want me to just sit here?

My value is in me being me

All I ever wanted to be was a husband and a dad and I had failed

The marriage failed, I didn’t fail

I love you regardless

I made a lot of mistakes

I didn’t fix those mistakes in time to save it

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