Monica R: You’re not going to believe this story

July 22, 2019

Hopefully, this gives us a chance to laugh at some of the times in life we find ourselves suddenly single.

I had been dating him for 6-7 months and I thought it was going well.

I thought surely I would hear from him on Valentine’s Day.

A week passes.

I don’t get any response from him.

I’m someone who doesn’t like any gray areas.

I decide I’m going to go where he works.

We began walking and started talking.

I wonder why we’re walking at such a fast pace.

I asked him to tell me what happened.

He says I’ll just talk to you tomorrow.

He walks down the stairs and when I look he is gone. 

This 6’3” man in a 3-piece suit is running up Park Avenue in New York City!

I’m watching him run the block and make a left and I thought, “WOW! One day this is going to be really funny but right now it is completely humiliating.”

We are two grown adults why are you running away?

Now I just chalk it up to dating in New York City.

I thought it was really disrespectful to go out that way.

I realized the person I was dating I didn’t really know.

I did not expect it to end with him running down the street.

I remember calling my best friend and saying, “You’re not going to believe this story.” 

I tried not to cry on the train home.

I will write it out and it kind of helps me to just get it out.

I tend to be a little more insular and examine it.

I started to see that certain things weren’t exactly as they seemed.

Something about the time that we were spending wasn’t as frequent as it had been before.

Music is a big thing for me.

I’ve always leaned on music even as a child.

I spent time with friends reconnecting with people again.

Reminding myself that is wasn’t my fault. Just because a relationship fails doesn’t mean it’s an indictment on yourself or the other person. Sometimes it just doesn’t work.

While the ending was really messy there were good times that had existed within that.

When things intuitively don’t feel right pay attention to those things.

I expected more of this person and I thought more of this person

Realizing this was just one situation and I’m not going to apply it to the 3 billion men in the world and make anyone pay for what happened. 

Unfortunately, he didn’t have the vocabulary or the wherewithal to have that conversation with me.

Everyone is going to make their own choices.

One of the things I learned is that you can’t force someone to meet you where you are.

I think there’s always an ownership everyone has to take. It’s never one-sided.

When I was younger and I was a teenager I was more of a hothead

I practiced not letting someone take me out of my own character and really stay rooted in my own beliefs.

There was a time in my 20’s where I thought it was all my fault

For me, journaling helps me a lot to look at the situation as if I’m not in it but I’m outside it.

If one out of two marriages ends in divorce what’s the statistic for relationships? A lot higher than that.

I wish that he would have handled it better.

There were times I felt I couldn’t be clear about what I wanted because it would push the other person away.

Realize that it’s not you. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

The more you spend blaming yourself or blaming someone else is the less time you give yourself to heal and then move on. 

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