I wish it was more of a sudden process. It took about a year and a half.
We dated for two months and then I decided to propose. Four months later we were married.
There was too much that we didn’t know about each other and we hadn’t accounted for that in building our relationship.
I woke up one morning and my wife had taken all her stuff and moved out.
Ultimately we decided that we didn’t belong together. I had to realize that and make peace with that.
It was an opportunity for me to grow and become a better person in the process.
Jamison 2.0 started the day my divorce was finalized.
What was it I was hoping to gain from the marriage that I hadn’t voiced to myself?
I was seeking validation from my social circle and my family.
I made a really bad decision.
A heard a quiet still voice speak to me and it kind of pierced through everything. Why are you still angry? It’s over. That was the most authoritative voice I have ever heard in my life. At that point, it was like I was having an out of body experience.
In that moment I realized just how exhausted I was carrying around that anger.
You have to be congruent with yourself.
I went to therapy and had some sessions that were very impactful.
I had to forgive myself. As a person of faith, I came across some grace-oriented perspectives.
I wanted to become more empathetic. I wanted to have the courage to wait and to respect the pace and natural progression that relationships go through.
I worked on appreciating alone and single and seeing the value in that.
I live my life as it comes and I enjoy what life gives me.
I started to affirm how good my life was in everyday aspects and take appreciation for the beauty in my life.
I began to paint and to do art. I turned one of my bedrooms into an art studio.
Marriage was very isolating for me. I did it to myself. I withdrew into the marriage.
I feel like I’ve grown a lot. I feel like I’m a more emotionally mature man. I have a better appreciation for the wonder and splendor that women are.
I think that being a better man has given me the ability to relate better with not just women but also with family members and coworkers.
I’m happy with where I’m going but I’m humble enough to realize I still have a lot of work to do and life is still a journey that is worth living and worth growing in.
I want to continue to work on myself and become a better person.
You can definitely grow from this. You don’t have to let divorce define you. You aren’t broken. You aren’t a failure.