Julie X 2: I realize now I deserve a lot more

June 14, 2021

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I did not think that I was going to be suddenly single and I am sure so many women have been caught off guard like that too.

It’s crazy. I thought I had it all figured out. I went through the really hard part of making the decision to get divorced and going through that really hard part and then meeting somebody and going, ah-ha! this is what it’s all about. And then…that ends.

In our last interview, I was like…I found this person who I like to sit on the couch and just talk to and he was talking about how we were going to live together and get married and spend the rest of our lives together and I found out everything he said was fake.

I’ve had to now step back.

This is like a blessing. You learn from it and you move on and you learn what you don’t want, what you deserve, and what the next relationship is going to look like. It has been tough.

I did everything for this person. There was nothing that I did that wasn’t great for him. Every single love language there is I met. I was like, why wasn’t I good enough. It goes deep and it really, really hurts you. I’m not going to lie, I’m still trying to get through it.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. Thank goodness I have some really great friends.

We don’t know why people do what they do. All we know is it wasn’t right and we just have to close that door and continue to move forward. It’s a struggle and I have to work on talking to myself.

I am good, and I don’t deserve that, and I do deserve somebody that wants to give me the world and do all those things that I did for him in return for me. I am such a pleaser that it feels good for me to please people. I’m doing great, therefore he should love me, but he didn’t love me.

If there’s anything you did wrong, you saw the red flags and you didn’t pull the ripcord sooner. I chose to ignore all the red flags.

If it doesn’t seem to add up, it doesn’t add up. If the story doesn’t really work there’s something there.

I step back and go holy cow, how did I do that? I really enjoy taking care of people.

I was in love with loving him. Now I need to look for a person who values me. I’m used to being in a relationship where the person doesn’t cherish me.

We all have our days. I’m not superwoman. I’m not perfect.

I realize now I deserve a lot more.

It’s not the easy journey but it’s the right journey. I know that I’m somebody when I want something I’m going to do it.

We really do need to listen to ourselves.

I have started to do more meditation. Music is huge for me because I just love music.

Exercise is always the go-to. Exercise is just so amazing in so many ways.

Everybody is different and nobody’s perfect. At the end of the day, we do deserve to have that person who wants to make our day better every day. I know that’s what I want to do for my guy.

It’s important to do your work, to self-reflect, to get strong from the inside out, and take time to get to know people and really, really listen to those red flags.

You do not need to jump into bed with a guy quick. If you’re worth it to him he will wait, and if he dumps you because you don’t, he’s definitely not worth your time.

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