It wasn’t my choice.
I was married at 25, I had just graduated from grad school with my MBA and I was dating my high school sweetheart.
Life happens and we ended up living apart. It was supposed to be temporary, I was in my mid-30s and I thought we were going to work towards being together, but as it turned out he had other plans and there was an affair. He had already made up his mind to leave the relationship and the marriage so I found myself Suddenly Single at 35.
I had to pick up the pieces. I had to figure out what life was going to look like from this place.
I was literally curled up in a ball crying. I thought my life was ending. It was like I didn’t know how to go on.
It was really about how am I going to put my life back together. I’m fortunate to be an extrovert and I don’t cry over spilled milk.
I did things, I surrounded myself with people. Your friends don’t understand sometimes. I didn’t really know that many divorced people at the time. I started doing things for me. I joined the ski club, I hadn’t skied in 10-years.
When I was rediscovering myself there were some major tragedies in my family. My brother was in a major car accident and soon after that my father was killed. He was run over by a car. I went through a lot in my mid-30s.
I was working with a therapist and he helped me to process all this.
I never had trouble meeting men. Really it was understanding who would be the right guy for me and what I want out of a relationship.
I had to do stuff to take care of myself. There’s this whole thing that goes on when you’re separating a household.
You have to be ready for a new person to come into your life.
There were things I was totally clueless of.
I’m an explorer and I discovered a whole new world out there. I discovered there’s a whole dancing world out there. There’s all this stuff going on.
The way we make connections is to have similar situations. Some of the people I met in that timeframe are still my friends today.
I thought my husband was helping me with my business but he wasn’t.
I found through the therapy that when I was getting out there dating that she wasn’t really serving me so I got a coach. I liked what he said and I was interested in learning.
What I discovered is I am resilient, I am resourceful, and going into the next relationship there are things I’m not willing to give up. I believe the universe provides to you what you need when you need it. You have to look for it but there are so many resources around.
Trust in yourself. Get the support you need…your family and friends and some professionals. You’re not going to see the silver lining but there is one. There’s a reason for it and you don’t understand it, but life’s a journey.